Mix, Chop, Stir, Fry

It's been mostly a survivable week. Tuesday night we were supposed to have talked again after we talked as she was walking to the pizza parlor. She didn't called back after a couple calls. Same as last Tuesday. Damn, my mind so wanders to really tough thoughts. I Couldn't sleep. Was really down Wednesday morning and she could tell when we talked briefly after she left a message saying she had gone to bed early (same think she told a mutual friend the same morning). I believe her, no reason not to. It’s Just my own fatalism taking hold. An afternoon talk Wednesday morning she grilled me a bit why I was down, I know she would have guessed. She basically said she doesn't need to keep me abreast of what she's doing. Correct. Friends. Still hurts badly.

She called Wednesday night as she was walking to a local bar to meet two girlfriends for a girls evening out. I did good, "have fun", "you've been working hard, you deserve it", etc. She called at 2:45am Thursday on her walk home. Drunk, yes. Alone, yes. I know she cares. Wish I would been able to wake up to the call, it was next to my bed - just so exhausted from the week. I think the Battlestar ringer set off a sci-fi dream I had. She called when she was on her way to campus in the morning, hung-over, the poor girl. It was a good talk. Then another 5 calls from her during the rest of the day. Last one wish me luck on a 5K I ran Thursday at midnight on campus. It was a good day. And today, she beat me to calling in the morning.

During the drive home, I was listening to a remake of "In Your Eyes" by Sara Bareilles and just started balling. Such a sad and hopeful song, it really gets to me hard.

I love her as a flower loves the Sun.